The Gospel According to Ken

How the fuck do people end up like Ken Orr? I mean did he wake up one morning when he was a kid and decide that he'd be an arsehole when he grew up? He must have had a real bitch for a mother and a cunt for a father - I just can't imagine what they did to him to make him turn into such a  miserable, vindictive old bastard. Quite frankly, if I had a son that turned out like Ken I think I'd shoot myself in the head because I wouldn't be able to cope with shame and embarrassment.

Unfortunately for the rest of us, Ken grew up and turned into an arsehole just like he always wanted. This decrepit old fart is like New Zealand's very own version of theTaliban and he's on a crusade to stop abortions, ban contraceptives and outlaw masturbation and oral and anal sex . When he's not busy kicking the shit out of single mothers and gays, Ken uses his spare time to write to the BSA and the Press Council to complain about advertisements and cartoons he finds offensive.

Honestly, I could rave on and on about the old wanker but I decided to keep this post to a resonable length so I just hand picked a few choice quotes from Ken's nutty rightolife.orgasm.nz site to discuss instead:

"Condoms encourage teenage males to become predators, mistaking lust for love"

This is just fucking ridiculous. Everyone knows that condoms protect people from STIs and unwanted pregnancies. They have been around for centuries and they are not responsible for turning young men into sexual predators. I think young men who use condoms are using their common sense and the practice should be encouraged. Condoms are freely available in New Zealand and if you get a prescription from your doctor you can get over 100 condoms for only $3.

"Our children do not need information on how to use condoms and contraceptives"

Yes they do. They need a comprehensive education on all aspects of sex and preferably before they reach puberty. Children aren't stupid and they want to know where babies come from. If you don't tell them they'll learn all kinds of things about sex from their friends at school anyway and some of that information can be less than accurate. They need to be given the facts and taught that sex is natural and nothing to be ashamed of. They also need to learn how to prevent unwanted pregnancies before they decide they are ready to have sex with a partner.

"The (Family Planning) Association degrades our sexuality by promoting promiscuity and sexual perversions such as masturbation, oral sex and anal sex"

I don't think Ken has ever experienced the joy of giving and recieving oral sex but I think he's lying if he's trying to say that he has never played with himself while looking at a porno mag. Is Ken married? Well if he is his poor wife must have been laying there staring at the ceiling and thinking of New Zealand all these years. It's obvious to me that because Ken doesn't enjoy these "sexual perversions"  he's going to make damn sure that no one else gets to enjoy them either. He probably wants to put up surveillance cameras in everyone's bedrooms so he can keep watch and make sure that no one is getting a gummy or a rimjob or stroking themselves in the middle of the night.

According to Ken, normal sexual behaviour is a sin and you're not supposed to enjoy it. The only time you should have sex is when you're married - to a partner of the opposite sex of course - and you want to have a baby. I wouldn't mind if Ken had these outdated beliefs if he kept them to himself but he never does and thinks he can impose his warped sense of morals on the rest of New Zealand. I laugh at the way he uses words like "perversion" to describe sex acts between consenting adults yet gets most upset when you mention the real perverts like the Catholic Priests who molested thousands of children.

Ken Orr just makes my stomach churn and I hope he kicks the bucket sometime soon. In a few generations people like Ken won't even exist and the rest of us can get on with our sex lives without any interference from this old fart and his precious Catholic Church.

Fuck you Ken Orr!